THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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