So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
