The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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