I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
