new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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