New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
