After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
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Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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