I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
