Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i believe in u and ur pee
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
