I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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