He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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