Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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