Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
