just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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