Sry I called you an 8
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
