Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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