can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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