saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
