dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
