Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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