How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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