Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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