He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I could fuck to npr.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
