and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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