Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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