Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
