Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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