Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
