I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
