i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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