I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have post one night stand depression
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize