I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
