my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
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He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.