Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.

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(940): View more from Texas

Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.

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(586): View more from Michigan

You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?

(1-586): View more from Michigan

You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(212): View more from New York

He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall

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(619): View more from California

Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I would fuck him just for his dog

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