I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays