I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
