we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
