i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
