She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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