I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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