he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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