I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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