I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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