Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize