why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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