What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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