How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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