I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think my moral compass just broke
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