ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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