I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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