my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
