check it out our google latitudes are spooning
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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