I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
