I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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