So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
