Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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