Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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