There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
