Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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