I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize