I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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