thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you had me at cake vodka
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
