i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
