The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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